there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
