After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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