I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I cannot find my penis.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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