i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
