hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
