Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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