hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
