YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
