it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
