She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is Oprah even human
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
