You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize