No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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