that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My feet surprised me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize