she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
