What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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