If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
