Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
