Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just found puke in my bra..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
