Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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