Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
