this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
