She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
