mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
