every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
