I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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