fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
