I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
