Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
id be glad to
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
