What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
