she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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