STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
