I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
