Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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