It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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