All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
love makes seman taste better
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
