I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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