I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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