Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
