I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
