I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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