What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
