you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
