I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
