wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
