Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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