I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
