you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
