haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
