Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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