im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
