so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
