are you so shy because you have an std?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize