corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
