Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
