You smell like a Billy Joel song
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
