her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
