Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
