The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
