There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
