I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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