I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
