I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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