Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
