she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
