Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
