I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
