isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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