either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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