I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
