It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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