I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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