I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you had me at cake vodka
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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