I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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