Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
