I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
