See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
