My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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